This module is included because we believe that part of a doula’s sacred calling is to cultivate self-awareness and inner clarity. It’s essential that we recognize and take responsibility for our own pain, attachments, shadows, and traumas—so we don’t unconsciously carry them into the tender space of end-of-life care. By gently exploring and understanding what lives within us, we create the foundation for healing and peace.

This inner work is not just preparation—it’s part of the journey home. As we learn to nurture our own well-being and hold space for our own transformation, we deepen our ability to offer that same presence, compassion, and healing to those we serve—and to the collective as a whole.

As Evangeline mentioned, The Hallow Bone is a Latoka Indian term to express intention of the Medicine Woman or Man to be open of mind, body and spirit in order to allow healing energy to flow through them like a bone that is hallow. I believe that in order to achieve a hollow bone self, we must first work on ourselves in order to increase our capacity to hold, acknowledge and bring love to our parts that we may avoid due to fear. We all have shadow sides and have been affected by trauma. Denial of trauma simply makes it worse. Evangline and I want to create a safe environment for you where you feel safe enough to show up as your true AUTHENTIC self!

We all are a tapestry woven from experiences as well as DNA. What do we hold onto that keeps us from living as a hollow bone? Guilt, shame, shadows? These are things we can acknowledge without ourselves so we don't project our shadows onto others. We can detangle, transmute the root cause and witness in order to bring love to those spaces, repair and heal.

It’s important to remember that as we welcome back vital parts of ourselves through shadow work, the process might not always feel seamless at first. When a part of us has been disconnected or pushed away for a long time, its return can feel unfamiliar—almost like adjusting to a new pair of glasses. At first, things might feel a little off or disorienting. But over time, that new clarity helps us see both ourselves and the world with more truth, depth, and understanding.

No matter the lens we bring—whether it's personal healing, therapy, or a more spiritual or shamanic path—there’s deep value in gently asking those returning parts what they need in order to feel safe, seen, and accepted. Sometimes, that might mean honoring the voice of a younger self who needs space to play, dream, or simply be acknowledged. Or it might involve healing old wounds by affirming the worth we were once taught to question—reminding ourselves each day that we are enough, just as we are.

When we take the time to turn inward and truly listen, we connect with a well of inner wisdom that goes far beyond logic. We begin to trust our own knowing. This kind of deep listening not only brings healing—it strengthens our intuition, our boundaries, our confidence, and our capacity for compassion, both for ourselves and for others. Shadow work, in this light, becomes a sacred act of coming home to ourselves.

Engaging in shadow work helps a death doula develop the self-awareness necessary to truly Hold Space. By recognizing and integrating our own fears, judgments, and discomforts, we prepare ourselves to be fully present for those at the threshold of life and death. This inner work allows us to listen from the heart rather than the head—to be present without analyzing, fixing, or trying to control the situation.

Holding Space means creating a sanctuary where another person feels safe to experience their emotions without the fear of being judged. It’s the profound practice of walking beside someone as they navigate the unknown, not guiding their path but walking with them in compassion and stillness. Self-aware doulas understand that their role is not to intervene, but to embody presence—to be comfortable with simply being.

Listening becomes an act of deep attunement. We listen not only with our ears but with our entire being—with our heart, body, and intuition. Shadow work sharpens this capacity by helping us tune in to subtle cues: a glance, a gesture, a silence pregnant with unspoken meaning. We learn to hear what isn’t said, to feel what lives beneath the surface, and to hold that space without needing to fill it.